What do I always have this unexplainable sense of despair whenever I think about spiritual life?
It feels like everything that has transpired before was all not real. Nothing is clear.
There's no logic, no sense, no pattern. Just a swirling overwhelming sense of being lousy.
Why do I weep? For my lost soul? For time wasted? For meaninglessness? For bondage? For the fact that I don't know who or where is God and it's all just a show? For a fact that I can't even ask Him to show Himself because I'm supposed to already know?
To lament how everything repeats itself... How poor we are in judgement... How superficial and yet how deep. What is spirituality? What is good?
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