Keeping it in

I find it extremely ironic how people say you should feel free to express yourself, when for some reason or other things that SHOULD biologically be expressed are always kept in.

1) Farting. If you wanna blow, blow it loud, blow it proud. They say the potent ones are the silent ones. I hate it when people try holding it in, fail miserably, and then let it out in short disgusting spurts. I shall mention no names but i've experienced the effects in our chemistry class. Keep the experimenting to yourself next time, kay?

Oh and keeping farts in is reaally bad. Need I mention the slap-butt fart executed by Bai Nu and her big eyed partner. And my sister who laughed so hard that she farted.

2)Burping. Squeak had no problem with this. it was amazing. She burped whenever, whatever, in front of whoever, wherever, however. Follow her example. Its much healthier.

3) Yawning. Have you ever realised how much you resemble frankenstein when you try stifling a yawn? Might wanna go check on that.

4)Sneezes. FOR SNEEZINGS SAKE, let it out! honk your head off! its actually more dangerous to keep it in cos you'll be damaging brain tissue, nasal tissue and God knows what else.

5)Nose Picking. Yes its gross. I know. But you hafta do it someday, you really do. Apparently if you go to a polluted place it ends up pretty black. Eugh... Think of it in euphemistic terms. Lets do some gold digging now shall we.

6)Excretion and egestion. I don't understand why some people can only pee or poo at home. They actually LEAVE SCHOOL to go home and do it. I can't wait till they get stranded on some forlorn island and die not of starvation, not of wild hungry beast, but yes, you guessed it- Gut explosion.

BE EXPRESSIVE. STAY TRUE TO YOUR BIOLOGY.

ps. I understand perfectly if no one ever wants to come within one meter of me from now on.